Why I control the knife (and how I long to let it go)

The primary reason that I volunteer to slice the roast or to carve the turkey or to pull apart the roasted chicken is not because I wish to be helpful. There is nothing about those tasks that I do for the love of wielding a knife or for the furtherance of domesticated husbandry. I take control of the knife because it is the one who has the knife that determines who gets the first taste of meat - that person of privilege usually being myself. I love to snack on the little bits and tastes of meat that fall from the carving blade. I'm sure that I'm no better than the dog (he gets what falls to the floor), but I am not ashamed to say that I love the first taste.

However, I'm also not ashamed to say that I love the feast. Whether it's simply a meal with my family or a holiday extravaganza - the first taste is always good. The feast is always better. Exponentially better. Not only is there more food, but the feast is savored with people I love and care about , and with whom I can laugh and cry and reminisce. Anticipation of the feast is in the taste. And that is good, beause I enjoy anticipation. Joy is in the feast. The appetizer is great. The meal is the best.

More and more I am convinced that this life is one of appetizers. We are in a season of anticipation. Again - I love that. There is something to be said about the pleasure of looking forward to Christmas morning or an evening with my wife or a vacation to some far away and exotic place. There is even greater joy - a more real joy - when the event actually is experienced in its fullness.

To put this scripturally I would draw attention to Romans 5. Verse 5 says so beautifully that 'God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who is given to us'. This is right here and now. Yet - we truly 'rejoice in hope of the glory of God' (verse 2) and lay that next to 8:18 that says there is no suffering in this life that is worthy to be compared with the Glory that is to be revealed in us. There is a present first 'taste'. But we must remember that this is only a taste. The feast is to come.

It is good now.

It will be exponentially better then.

I am convinced that this means I must thoroughly enjoy everything that God has given now - and that I can be completely satisfied with that. Yet, while being satisfied in Him, I must also hunger and thirst and long for everything that will be revealed and to deeply desire the feast that is to come. Thus we are completely satisfied, while eagerly anticipating. God has ordained that we taste what is delicious now, while looking at and longing for the feast that is to come.

I'm hungry for home today. I think of the words of a brother who is already there:

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

Father, I long.